Fair warning – this may be an unpopular opinion post, but it’s my post and my opinion. Take it or leave it and if it makes you ponder my points a little then great.

2021 – a new year is upon us and I’ve been seeing all sorts of posts about self care and making sure you practice ME TIME! 

Is this a new idealistic lifestyle that my generation is learning? My mothers generation sure didn’t have the opportunity for “me time”. Was it the belief that, you give up your “me time” as a mother because it’s your job to be there for your family at all times?

I believe this Me Time trend is important – especially if you are someone who deals with any mental health issues. Now saying that, I think Me Time is important but I can’t help asking this question; “Are we as women pushing it too far, too often and is our Me Time more beneficial than We Time?”

This can only be answered by individual situations for sure. Some women take too much me time while others probably don’t take enough due to guilt and other reasons! 

When I look at the posts I’ve seen recently, the majority of people who’ve posted are women, and I’m wondering how often do men get the “me time”? I know, men get it more often than women because they go out and have drinks with their buddies while us women stay home with the kids. This is definitely an old school mentality that does still occur, but realistically how often do you go for a lunch and/or coffee visit or shopping date with your girlfriends? I’m willing to bet the “me time” scale is heavier on the women’s side, or fairly well balanced. 

I don’t want to sound like I’m against the idea of having “me time” but I want to impress on you is that I think it’s important to be sure each person is being granted equal amounts of “me time” and let’s not forget the all important (maybe most important) “WE TIME”!

I do agree that in order to be the best version of ourselves we need to do something that’s just for us, something that feeds our soul  and helps us feel rejuvenated. This will allow us to be a better partner to our spouse and family, there’s no question in my mind. The one thing that I think we need to remember however, is that whatever this “me time” is, it should be something that your spouse and you agree upon. The last thing anyone wants is for the “me time” to cause any stress, jealousy or anger.  

Why should one persons “me time” be some luxurious getaway/retreat that puts a financial strain on the family? It shouldn’t because in the end, you will not feel rejuvenated if you’re now worrying about how you’ll pay your bills.  “Me time” should be as simple as taking an extra long bath, or going for a drive singing along to your favourite songs, meeting a friend for lunch. None of these are very expensive and can give you the break you are searching for. 

Being able to do more affordable self care options, allows for space, time and money to maybe have that little extra “We Time” that so many couples are neglecting these days. 

I know you’re going to say, but I’ve been having we time for a year now while living through this Covid life. I want you to ask yourself has it been quality We Time?

How have you been spending your We Time during Covid? Watching TV or playing on your mobile device is not quality time. 

Surprising confession, my husband and I always watch our favourite shows together after we get the kids to bed. We PVR them so we can watch when it works for us. Last night we watched a show that wasn’t PVR’d and my husband actually said, “wow having commercials actually gives us time to talk about stuff!”

Yes all these awesome tech features – cell phones, PVR’s, video games etc. they are great but have they taken away our time to connect – yup, I think so!

For Valentines Day I bought my husband a book with mystery dates that you have to do. These dates can all be done at home. I’m sure he will make a face at some of the date ideas but it will force us to do something other than sit in front of the TV. 

In 2021 we are choosing to have Me Time but also focusing more one We Time! I think both matter and are equally important!

Make a point of talking, connecting and working on your communication skills. If ever there has been a time to really focus on your relationship I feel these could be those days. I know the saying is “Happy Wife Happy Life”, and this is true, but even better is “Happy Spouse Happy House!”

What do you feel is most important Me Time or We Time? 

Do you and your spouse get equal amounts of Me Time?