“Don’t worry about it”, “let it go”, “Stop overthinking everything”. I’ve heard these statements repeatedly for as long as I can remember.  My whole life I’ve been labeled a worrier, someone who over thinks everything and every situation, someone who weighs all cause and effect before making a final decision. Does this sound familiar to you too?

Let’s play a game of agree or disagree:

I believe most if not all will agree with these statements to some degree – after all I also believe EVERY person is an empath, we all can feel empathy towards others, however, not everyone feels their empathy as strongly as others. For some it’s as simple as “in one ear out the other”, “brush it off and walk away” or “not my circus, not my monkeys”, you get the idea!

For others, like myself if you mostly agree with all these statements, we are what is often referred to as a high empath or hyper empath.

I’m no expert in this field and can just go by what I’ve read and experienced for myself.

Sometimes I think being an empath is a great gift and other days I feel it can be very draining. I love the fact I can connect and feel deeply what my friends and family are explaining to me. When they hurt, I feel that pain too and often cry for/with them. Now obviously I don’t feel their exact pain, but I can’t stop myself from imagining myself in their situation and I feel like I have this problem going on in my life too.

I immediately want to fix it or help them in any way I can. I also want to change how they are feeling and help bring them joy again. With age I’ve learnt that sometimes the best thing I can do I just be an ear, but that is easier said than done too at times! People aren’t always looking for solutions but just to let out their frustrations to a trusted source and sometimes when we hear ourselves talking out loud, we can solve our problems on our own.

I remember as a young child going to a funeral with my mom. I didn’t know the family or the person who had passed but I remember seeing the attendees with tears in their eyes (for obvious reasons) and I started to cry. I remember asking my mom, “why am I crying? I don’t know this person.” She told me it’s because you’re putting yourself in their situation.  In other words, she was telling me you are an empathetic person!

My husband has also noticed how my mood and energy can shift depending on who I am around. I had one person in my life who liked to complain a lot, and every time I spent any time with them, I’d come home and be angry with the household. Once he pointed this out to me, I became aware of just how true it was. I don’t blame that person, it’s on me to not let them bring me down. I needed to learn to control my energy and not be sucked into their “toxic” mood.

To be honest, I am still learning how to let things go and not let my energy get drained and taken over by the energy of others.

My confession is I still can’t watch a sad movie, read a sad chapter in a book, or hear a story of joy or sadness without tears coming out, but is that a bad thing? Is being a “crier” really all that bad? I want to believe that crying is a way of letting that hard energy out and maybe I’ll be able to walk away unphased and on with my life, my mood, and my energy!

I want to know, what do you do to disconnect from taking on the feelings and emotions of those around you?